Figuring It Out

I'd like to believe that 99% of all of us humans living in this world has had a great percentage of chance to learn, or at least be taught or told about what is right from wrong.

Parents, guardians, our teachers. They all have taught us the good things to do, and the bad things to avoid. The wrongdoings that we should not commit. Don't say bad words. Don't steal. Don't lie. Don't disrespect anybody. Don't do drugs. Be humble. Be patient. Be helpful. Be kind. Forgive them. This could go on forever. We've been taught all these. The good and right people that we should surround ourselves with, and the wrong ones we should stay away from.

And it was easy listening to these teachings. It's been easy bearing them in mind, and even passing on this lecture to your loved ones, people you care for. The real challenge, though, is how to live by those words. How to follow what you know is right, instead of just keeping them in mind. You say words, but your actions don't seem to reflect them. 

Why is it, that at certain times, it's hard to do what is right? Even when in our heads, in our subconscious minds, perhaps, it's literally right there, screaming at the top of whatever lungs it could possibly have: Stop it now, redirect your ways. Get back on track. 

I've had this question since like the world began. And, just recently I have proposed myself an indefinite answer - one that could peradventure be deemed obtuse, or unreasonable: Is it because we're only human?

I may have proposed this quite a few times to myself when I was once cleaning my wrestling action figures in warm water, and when I was losing sleep the past nights.

We could have a hard time doing the right and good things because we're only human. It's been on my mind.

So, is it? Is it really? Could it be? 

Is it because we're naturally prone to making countless mistakes over time? I think I'd have to agree.

We're human. We feel a lot of things. We get confused. Situations trigger us to do actions, both the right and the wrong ones. Several different opinions, conclusions, and judgment can pile up inside our heads until we don't know anymore. Same with how several different emotions can coalesce into various forms and shapes in our hearts and souls that we get blinded by them all.

Too blind to see straight.

Too blind to see straight.

Just. Too blind. To even see straight.

So when that happens. When you're too blinded by everything that's destroying you versus everything that's building you up, how do you just...see through all the crap? How come it's super hard to distinguish the ones that are good for you from the ones that are bad for you?

How come? 'Cause we're human? 

Why can't we bring ourselves to make the right choices all the time? Why do we let things get complicated by not taking control of our actions, and eventually let other people get hurt? How is it that we can be extremely okay with the idea of settling for decisions that put us in difficult situations? That we actually choose not to disengage ourselves from toxic people that have a lot to do with destroying us mentally, emotionally?

How can anyone make us see? How can they make us see that there are more fruitful, beautiful things we can invest ourselves into? That there could only be special, valuable people who'll treat us right. People who'll never betray our trust, because they actually care. People who actually care, because all they have are soft, fragile hearts inside those imperfect, flawed bodies... hearts with nothing but the sincerest desire to always hope and want us safe. Like angels.

How do we learn that we shouldn't take people for granted?

Doesn't matter if we're naturally kind people. Everybody makes mistakes. We all commit wrongdoings. We all get tempted. We all do.

Maybe it's not necessarily that we're tempted because we're evil.

Maybe we're tempted because we're human.

And it's a puzzle we're all trying to figure out.


Nevertheless, if we can still gather some kind of strength to be the bigger person during the deadliest, most poisonous situations, no matter how impossible, that's what we should do. Maybe it sucks to be human. Or maybe the nature of being human sucks. 

But imagine if all of us surrendered to being completely hopeless, and literally every single one of us has completely gone astray. Who would these lost souls run to? Who would be the angels that could save them?

Someone should be.

There should at least be someone they can lean on, amidst all the battles. Someone they can run to. Someone to let them know that despite all the wrongdoings, it's actually okay. Someone to repeatedly understand them when they confess every awful, detestable, and hurtful deed they've done, simply because that someone believes that these lost souls deserve forgiveness. Someone who would hold their hand while pushing them to fight their inner demons and rise. Someone who would just pour out unconditional love, simply because that someone believes that these lost souls are worth it, no matter what.

Someone they could keep coming back to, no matter how badly they've hurt them.

Someone should be that someone. No matter how impossible. Someone should be that someone, because after all, we're all human. And even though our nature is to be consistently involved with too many mental and emotional complications and make mistakes, having a pure heart is also the most human thing we could ever do for others.

I'm figuring it all out, and it's not easy. But you should also believe you can figure it all out. And finally see straight once again.

Just Leave Me Here in Pieces

When darkness has clouded over you in a black haze

And you can't see the stars anymore

When the passion that used to cradle you in warmth is gone

And sheer coldness is now grazing your soul

When you hear nothing but the broken beats of your heart

And you grievously shed tears, screaming misery

When you lose an angel

And you helplessly watch her fly away

You're just suddenly dead

There are questions everywhere, yet answers nowhere

You'd wish there were answers

Your empty, questioning heart is tormented

Restrained by a chain of tears and fears

Agonizing

Perishing

Dying for answers

When you lose it all

And there's nothing but questions unanswered

When you lose yourself in anguish

With misery tales unexplained 

Would it matter anyway?

How We Vibed at Scriptures Café

If you’re anything like me and my friends, then nothing beats a fun, chill Friday night to end the stressful work week that has gone by.

I recently spent an enjoyable T-G-I-F-night with my friends after work at Scriptures Café, a newly opened hangout place in Springville, Molino. We played the weirdest form of the Scrabble game ever, stuffed our bellies with tasty food, laughed a lot, sipped sugary-creamy frosted drinks, and took advantage of the place’s warm, cozy interior for some Instagrammable photos. Reflecting on the fresh memory, I doubt we’d have the same experience had we done it in a different café. Scriptures Café helped us all unwind, and I’d just like to go into detail a bit of how this new place truly satiated our desires to achieve fun.

Supple menu with appetizing food and coffee choices

With their supple menu, I think that customers wouldn’t have a problem coming into the place, no matter their divergent taste buds and food preferences. I say ‘supple’, because you’ll find multiple flavors on their menu that your appetite could decide on. Want something American? They’ve got meaty burgers for you. Maybe you prefer it Italian? You can savor their bountiful pasta platters. Looking to eat native? Their rice meals are there to save you. Or, maybe you and your friends just feel like grabbing something light but delish? They’ve got fries, nachos, chicken wings – you can even enjoy some classic Pinoy favorites like siomai and siopao.

All of these at a N I C E price. ^__^

And you certainly don’t need to be a coffee addict to be able to pick one drink from their list and enjoy it. Whether you’re going for something as basic as the salted caramel frappe, or something as distinctively fresh as the matcha drink (Matcha anyone? They’ve got it, too!), Scriptures Café just lets you choose with ease and you'll appreciate it.

Fun games for everyone’s amusement!

Definitely not everyone is made for the whole waiting game, and various restaurants and hangouts have developed their own different methods on how their customers can kill the time while waiting… but Scriptures Café just had that ready for us, too.

My group decided to have fun with the café’s Scrabble board game, and we put a little twist to it by putting Tagalog words instead. Not to mention, we included the very unique “dialect” famously called Jejemon, which people either found funny or disliked.

But I don’t think we’ve ever faced the most intense moment of our lives until my friends and I decided to face off against the café’s own hand-biting crocodile! We had to push one of its teeth until someone hit the “trap” that would cause the crocodile to close down its mouth and bite you. The crocodile rounded us and everyone took turns. We shared the biggest laughs combined with the loudest shrieks. I can never explain the feeling of having to finally be the one to go through a mental struggle on which tooth to push down. It was I think one of the toughest choices you’d ever have to make in your life. Like a matter of life-and-death situation, almost.

So in case board games didn’t work for you, just go ask the owners and look for Mr. Crocodile Dentist. And you’ll never have a dull moment, I promise.

The warm and pleasant vibe, cozy interior, and the friendly crew

Obviously, Scriptures Café is among the couple of hangouts and stores with a Biblical theme that welcomes you into the scriptural confines of their humble place.

Personally, the moment I walked into the place the first thing I felt was inspiration. It was warm inside, walls decorated with nothing more than encouraging words that center on God. I’ve seen many café places, and by nature, they all possess that inspiring and artistic feel to their atmosphere. I think what’s different about Scriptures Café is that it’s already both inspirational and artsy, but it also tells you that it’s God who gives us every single new day to live, reminding us to be thankful, grateful, and to feel blessed.

Definitely no question about the crew’s cordiality towards their customers – they’re all nice and very accommodating. Such a sweet joy to have them give us free peppermint frappe drinks before we went home!

It gladdens me to think that a place like this is just a few minutes away from where I live. Living in the South, many lifestyle places are up and running to provide satisfaction to all Southerners – BF Homes in Paranaque, Evia Lifestyle Center, etc.

But it’s also cool to spend portions of your life on a low-key point. And knowing that just minutes from where I live, along the M.V. Villar Avenue in Springville, Molino here in Cavite, a place like Scriptures Café exists; it will help me do just that. I’m already thinking of bringing either a different group of peeps or the same folks upon my next visit.

‘Cause one thing is for sure: I’m definitely coming back! 

Legit jump scares from Resident Evil 7, and it’s only a demo!

Okay, okay. I might seem overreacting to some, I know. It could be either I’m overreacting, or I just happen to be an overly appreciative creature of these things. I don’t know about others and their uncanny gaming viewpoints, but I played the demo with my younger brother and sister, and I did release a barrage of disturbing reactions.

I think I have a lot to say about Resident Evil 7, and in order to organize my thoughts I wanted to break them down into these three key points:

It’s different.

I’m sure I pretty much speak for the RE nation when I say that this new game is waaaay D I F F E R E N T from all the Resident Evil games before. It’s the first main series to be played from a first-person perspective. This alone makes a huge difference, hence generating its distinction amongst the other RE games.

It’s setting definitely feels different. My brother was telling me, game’s scenery has WWE’s Wyatt Family-feel to it, which I totally agree with him on. It does remind me of the Wyatts and their uncanniness. Developers also say not to expect a “gun fest”, which obviously is gonna give another freshness (others might like it, others probably won’t). 

It’s such a tease..

A lot of teaseeee! But unlike an ‘actual tease’ that has nothing more than people leading others on and on to nothing, this kind of tease strikes me as one where you know you’re looking forward to something. It’s the tease-type that you just feel has a lot packed for you. You know by the end of your gaming journey, you’ll find yourself a bag of treasure.

It is said that the presence of both the “Resident Evil” and “Biohazard” in the title of the game for the first time, was indeed, a conscious choice…and in fact, is a ‘clue’ to what’s behind the game’s plot. It’s like an old wrinkled paper folded unequally that looks like it’s seen all the wars this world has waged – you’re just gonna want to UNFOLD IT.

It’s scary!

There really are jump scares from this new hot stuff! Legit jump scares to me and my siblings, might not be the case to others, but come on… just… just try to wrap your brain around the idea that this new game is chilling! As I’ve mentioned, it did remind me and my siblings of the Wyatt’s – it’s indeed eerie.

Imagine playing the demo and your main protagonist (which you’re playing) is walking around an abandoned, dilapidated, unnerving house. You touch one thing, something is moving. You take this object, something seems amiss, and now you’ve caused trouble. It’s so scary, that when you hear some kind of feet screeching, it’s almost as if you hear it around YOUR house and not from the game anymore! Downright scary. Definitely recommend playing it with a group of friends!

All in all, basing from the demo play, I think Resident Evil 7 will be awesome. It looks new. While we may miss the old school RE themes, the zombies, gun fest, and even though the fact that there will not be any returning characters makes me sad, I still greatly appreciate Capcom’s work. Despite the many changes they have gone through the years, they were still able to offer something even MUCH NEWER to the table. I think it’s a good job – might be too early to say since the full game hasn’t come out yet, but yeah, let’s see!

Welcome to the family, BOYS AND GIRLS!

We Lift You Up, For All You've Done

I did a quick scan on the car and my parking slot. I might not have been able to secure a spot at the hotel's parking area where I should be, but yeah...guess I had to let it go today. Heaving a sigh, I perfunctorily pushed the lock-button on my key and swiftly stepped on the path walk. 

Carrying my shoulder bag with my blazer slung over my forearm and a cup of coffee in one hand (thank you, my angel), I walked on the puzzle-patterned path in silence. I sipped from my coffee, at the same time drinking in the view of the trees that towered over me from either side. The wind blew through my hair, softly brushing my cheeks as though a gentle reminder that today's Friday. 

Sweet cheers for sweet cheeks.

I crossed the street and waiting there was what I called the area's daily guard, whose face still didn't register in my mind despite the countless times we've already seen each other. It's one thing that I don't normally look at the man's face when we greet each other a good morning. But then again, it's another thing that it could be different dudes in the same uniform. 

He stood by the group of trash bins, where I usually threw something into, only now I still hadn't finished my coffee. So I didn't stop by to throw some trash and walked straight instead.

"Good morning ma'am," the guard greeted.

"Good morning po," I replied nicely.

I still didn't look up to meet the man's gaze. I sipped from my coffee again and continued walking.



What ultimate peace could it be to walk along this wonderful path or to even stroll on your bike with someone...

I finally reached the building. If I'd gotten a nice carpark spot at the hotel, I would've been in the building in two minutes. Nonetheless, I was still finally inside the building. I got into the elevator with a woman in a white hanging blouse. I pressed '26' on the buttons aligned evenly on the metal fencing of the elevator, while the '27' had already been pressed by the woman.

We ascended in silence and I was not really paying attention to anything other than reaching my floor, until the stranger that stood in front of me shook me out of my blank space.

"Excuse me, ma'am." She startled me, causing me to look at her. That was when I saw the glasses that set on the bridge of her nose. It made me assume that the lady must be in her early 30's. "Here's something for you to read." She handed me a piece of glossy paper in full-color-print.

A cross was on the page, along with text that pertained specifically to God and His word, all on gradient blue background. Just having that very moment, I knew I'd already felt the blessing of today. 

I realized it was a folded piece of paper, so I opened it as I waited to reach my floor, and saw another slip of paper inserted in-between. It said it was inviting me to worshiping the Lord. The place and date details were written on the lower part of the paper.

The soft bing of the elevator sounded, indicating I'd gotten to my floor. The doors opened and before stepping outside, I looked to the woman and thanked her softly with a smile.

Have you mouthed a prayer of thanks to our Father this morning? I hope you've also experienced an unexpected kind of reminder of His grace today, just like I've had. He deserves all our praises each new day. Isn't it a genuine thing of beauty to think that as each disciple does that everyday, the angels above rejoice with us as we lift His name up altogether? 

Would you like me to tell you a lie that you'd rather believe?

I silently listen as the soft wind lightly shudders my sliding windows, passing through them, blowing through my hair and whispering comfort to me. I look up a little, stretching my neck to get a view of myself in the mirror. What do you do on an uneventful, unsuspecting Sunday afternoon when you look in the mirror and see yourself? That's right - there's not much left to do other than acknowledge how different you look now from years ago. To notice the change. 

And then you consequently reflect on life.

It's easy to chase your heart's truest desires when you're incapable of feeling any fear.

I stare into nothingness as I try to look back on a couple of things. Like those days when I did nothing but count the broken beats of my heart. Or those times when I wondered why I still never gave up on trying to measure how much tears I'd shed, even when I knew they were immeasurable. 

You recall that very moment when you seemingly fell into an endless pit, an abyss. Your bones and flesh ached as you fell, your heart extremely fearing the long plummet down the void, your soul tormented as you wait to hit the bottom, expecting a bone-shattering impact. But it never came. You were just stuck in falling. You were stuck in the nothingness of that dismal hole you'd fallen into. It wasn't just bleak anymore, it was pitch-black all around, you almost believed for a moment that you had actually died.

My mind's racing for other anxious thoughts, keeping me troubled. I'm like a cat on a hot tin roof. But all of a sudden, a sweet notion smoothly glides through the rabble of worries in my head, making me stop, shaking me away from my fears. 

Dreams.

Everything around me dissolves into invisibility, as I find myself gazing unblinkingly into dreams. I now have my head in the clouds, trying to picture happy thoughts. Special moments that I want to happen in reality. Like achieving sweet success. Sharing love and making everyone happy.

Or the fantasy of having that kind of kiss that makes you realize sunlight doesn't provide warmth anymore, because you find them in those lips you never wanna pull away from.

I'm like staring into space now. Lost in thought. Like I'm somewhere else. Another place that's beyond the reach of the real world.

It's one of those moments where you don't want be snatched back into reality for a while...