While You're Away

While you're away

time very slowly slips away

as though committed to torture my heart

seemingly set adrift on a sad work of art

Days are incomplete

no hand to hold on the passenger's seat

forcing me to drive in solitary

on these cold nights of January

Missing the feeling

of sheer excitement deep within

towards the habit of fetching you,

always eager to see your hairdo

How very strange

it is to acknowledge the change

so used to your touch,

this loneliness is a bit too much

Such tiring space

time seems to drag itself at a snail's pace

a lowkey happy memory, my heart remembers

when we walked nonstop, looking for your suspenders

How I hate

this emptiness, and I can't wait

to once again look into your dreamy eyes

my joy upon your presence, you'll realize

To be honest

I always yearn for your caress

for you to come home fast, is what I pray

all day, while you're away.

Figuring It Out

I'd like to believe that 99% of all of us humans living in this world has had a great percentage of chance to learn, or at least be taught or told about what is right from wrong.

Parents, guardians, our teachers. They all have taught us the good things to do, and the bad things to avoid. The wrongdoings that we should not commit. Don't say bad words. Don't steal. Don't lie. Don't disrespect anybody. Don't do drugs. Be humble. Be patient. Be helpful. Be kind. Forgive them. This could go on forever. We've been taught all these. The good and right people that we should surround ourselves with, and the wrong ones we should stay away from.

And it was easy listening to these teachings. It's been easy bearing them in mind, and even passing on this lecture to your loved ones, people you care for. The real challenge, though, is how to live by those words. How to follow what you know is right, instead of just keeping them in mind. You say words, but your actions don't seem to reflect them. 

Why is it, that at certain times, it's hard to do what is right? Even when in our heads, in our subconscious minds, perhaps, it's literally right there, screaming at the top of whatever lungs it could possibly have: Stop it now, redirect your ways. Get back on track. 

I've had this question since like the world began. And, just recently I have proposed myself an indefinite answer - one that could peradventure be deemed obtuse, or unreasonable: Is it because we're only human?

I may have proposed this quite a few times to myself when I was once cleaning my wrestling action figures in warm water, and when I was losing sleep the past nights.

We could have a hard time doing the right and good things because we're only human. It's been on my mind.

So, is it? Is it really? Could it be? 

Is it because we're naturally prone to making countless mistakes over time? I think I'd have to agree.

We're human. We feel a lot of things. We get confused. Situations trigger us to do actions, both the right and the wrong ones. Several different opinions, conclusions, and judgment can pile up inside our heads until we don't know anymore. Same with how several different emotions can coalesce into various forms and shapes in our hearts and souls that we get blinded by them all.

Too blind to see straight.

Too blind to see straight.

Just. Too blind. To even see straight.

So when that happens. When you're too blinded by everything that's destroying you versus everything that's building you up, how do you just...see through all the crap? How come it's super hard to distinguish the ones that are good for you from the ones that are bad for you?

How come? 'Cause we're human? 

Why can't we bring ourselves to make the right choices all the time? Why do we let things get complicated by not taking control of our actions, and eventually let other people get hurt? How is it that we can be extremely okay with the idea of settling for decisions that put us in difficult situations? That we actually choose not to disengage ourselves from toxic people that have a lot to do with destroying us mentally, emotionally?

How can anyone make us see? How can they make us see that there are more fruitful, beautiful things we can invest ourselves into? That there could only be special, valuable people who'll treat us right. People who'll never betray our trust, because they actually care. People who actually care, because all they have are soft, fragile hearts inside those imperfect, flawed bodies... hearts with nothing but the sincerest desire to always hope and want us safe. Like angels.

How do we learn that we shouldn't take people for granted?

Doesn't matter if we're naturally kind people. Everybody makes mistakes. We all commit wrongdoings. We all get tempted. We all do.

Maybe it's not necessarily that we're tempted because we're evil.

Maybe we're tempted because we're human.

And it's a puzzle we're all trying to figure out.


Nevertheless, if we can still gather some kind of strength to be the bigger person during the deadliest, most poisonous situations, no matter how impossible, that's what we should do. Maybe it sucks to be human. Or maybe the nature of being human sucks. 

But imagine if all of us surrendered to being completely hopeless, and literally every single one of us has completely gone astray. Who would these lost souls run to? Who would be the angels that could save them?

Someone should be.

There should at least be someone they can lean on, amidst all the battles. Someone they can run to. Someone to let them know that despite all the wrongdoings, it's actually okay. Someone to repeatedly understand them when they confess every awful, detestable, and hurtful deed they've done, simply because that someone believes that these lost souls deserve forgiveness. Someone who would hold their hand while pushing them to fight their inner demons and rise. Someone who would just pour out unconditional love, simply because that someone believes that these lost souls are worth it, no matter what.

Someone they could keep coming back to, no matter how badly they've hurt them.

Someone should be that someone. No matter how impossible. Someone should be that someone, because after all, we're all human. And even though our nature is to be consistently involved with too many mental and emotional complications and make mistakes, having a pure heart is also the most human thing we could ever do for others.

I'm figuring it all out, and it's not easy. But you should also believe you can figure it all out. And finally see straight once again.