Renewed with Championship Spirit (by the Holy Spirit)

Ouch.

My left foot is buried in a basin of ice tubes in hopes of a speedy healing and recovery. I wince as I feel every inch of my foot's skin go cold. I have no idea how I got this pain. I'd be spending long hours trying to think back and assess which part of last night's match caused this (hopefully very minor) injury. I didn't feel it until after I left the venue to grab dinner with my friends.

I guess my news flash today would be something like, "PWR Live: Championship Spirit - A Baptism of Fire." Last night, I partook in a 4-way all-women wrestling match for the Queen of Asia Championship against Gatoh Thailand's Jibzy, Queen of PH Wrestling Crystal, and the well-known big shot idol from Japan, reppin' different wrestling leagues including AEW - Riho. TODAY, I WOKE UP FEELING IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM. It was surreal. Those 3 big names, shared a ring with me and I couldn't be any more blessed.

The fact of the matter is, I didn't believe I deserved to be in this big main event match up at PWR Live: Championship Spirit. When they'd broken the news to me a month ago, I felt excited - but it was overpowered by a cup of FEAR and WORRY, spilling over - swamping every ounce of hope and faith in myself. I was not confident. I didn't believe I deserved to be there. Because I didn't think I could keep up with those big stars. Because maybe, I simply couldn't. Because I didn't hold a candle to their talents. Because how could those big names share a spectacle with a no-name like me.

So I spent the past month second-guessing things, doubting myself, dreading the biggest day yet in my wrestling journey. It was literally a month of endless worrying sessions. I also felt lost trying to juggle all the responsibilities and priorities in life. But I also realized, I wasn't doing something I should be doing. I wasn't calling on Someone I should be calling on. GOD.

I guess author Michael Faudet's right when he once said, "Lost is a lovely place to find yourself."

Sunday morning, it was show day. I woke up real early and grabbed my Bible at 6:30 AM. I opened onto a page in the book of Deuteronomy, chapter 31 verse 6 - one of my life verses. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you - He will never leave you nor forsake you."

In a world like this, where life could be chaotic sometimes, as humans we tend to forget about what the Lord God teaches us. He has always told us to trust in the Lord and never lean on our own understanding. For His ways are always loving and righteous. Because we cannot do all things without Christ who strengthens us. It's not a walk in the park to be a disciple of Christ - I can relate to those who forget about the Lord in desperate times - but these times are specifically the ones wherein we need to depend on Him more. Because we need His wisdom, His guidance.

I put on my Hillsong playlist as I drove to pick up my best friend, Jeorge, missing my student life so much where we spent almost every day studying His word and singing songs of praise and worship. I sang along to the first part of At the Cross, and when chorus came my singing was stopped by the warm tears welling up in my eyes, running down my face. He was speaking to me at this moment and I questioned myself, why am I worrying? Why have I not been calling on You for weeks? 

Indeed an emotional morning to start a show day. But it felt home. Company even made more warm with my best friend soon driving me to Makati and to the show's venue (Power Mac Center Spotlight). For the first time in a long time I was able to get a sense of calm. Inner peace. After having the noisiest, most raucous drowning thoughts in my head for a month.

My very first show poster!

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Meeting Riho and Jibzy for the first time was unbelievable. But what worried me (again) was the language barrier. What if they didn't understand me? What if I mishear what they're saying? I was thinking about so many miscommunication problems already and it wasn't good. Few hours before the show Jibzy called me into the locker room to discuss the match. Crystal wasn't around yet so it was just me Jibzy and Riho.

Jibzy sat in front of her dresser and began. "So... your move? What?" She looked at me.

Smiling coyly, I tried to start talking before I completely got sucked within the beauty that was her long dark hair. "Oh, uhh. So some of my moves... I have uhh. I do spinebuster - " I paused and tried to check if I was maybe talking fast - "I do a reverse stunner," I continued and looked to Riho who had such glistening eyes that popped through her fresh, glowing skin. "And then, I have a finishing move called Mocking Jaye, which is just a bicycle kick." I got up from the floor to demonstrate with energy, vibrantly kicking the air. I didn't realize how funny I looked until I sat back down on the floor and looked to both our international guest wrestlers, who now had stoic faces looking at me.

Do they think I'm funny? I thought to myself. I almost confirmed the two foreign wrestlers thought I looked like an idiot when they didn't say anything after I talked for 30 seconds and threw my leg in the air. They looked at each other, all silent. I was clueless about what they had in mind. But more importantly, I felt a bit embarrassed.

I gave them an awkward smile. "Let me just get my water okay?" I excused myself to walk away for a while. While it was true that I wanted to get water, I really just wanted to escape the embarrassment I'd put myself into in front of the international stars. Maybe talking in straight English in full sentences wouldn't work, I made a mental note.

When I walked back to where they were sitting, very timely, Crystal walked in and I really really saw how excited Jibzy was when she called her. "Crystal! Come!" She raised her hand and waved like she was calling a friend she hadn't seen in a long time.

It literally was like two girls happy to finally see their mother to save them after being weirded out by some stranger who tried to offer them some candy but refused because she looked weird.

When Crystal finally joined the discussion, it was true. The 2 were comfortable in discussing with her. Crystal had this style of English-talking where she didn't use full sentences. She talked in broken English words...or English word by English word.

"So uhh, startuu?" Crystal ran a hand through her blue hair. "Testu strengtu?"

Riho nodded with enthusiasm, signaling how she liked Crystal's idea. Her eyes glistened even more, it was so adorable. But more importantly, I was amazed by Crystal's communication skills. At the beginning of the discussion it was silent. Everyone did their thinking hums. "Hmmmmmm..." Crystal started, putting her hands on hair waist and trying to think. "Hmmmm..." I followed, tapping my chin with a finger and Riho followed with her own "hmmmmm", smiling tight-lipped at me and widening her sparkly eyes, bobbing her head to fix her gaze on me.

This little big star is really talking playfully to me? This woman would stomp her feet and bore holes into my stomach later on in the main event and she was making playful gazes towards me now. I was about to die of cuteness overload and disbelief-due-to-surrealness-of-the-situation.

The discussion was then taken to the ring, and it went on with Crystal continuously talking like, "Riho-san, idea, maybe, I hit - "Pom!" then I whip and I hit "pom!" To which Jibzy would add, "I go "pom!" then whip you-" then Riho would add, "Ah ah ah - rebersu! Rebersu."

"Okay? Okay? Okay?" Each of us would do the 3-finger-ok sign after every spot discussed. We eventually finished constructing the match, and did about 4 or 5 run-throughs backstage while the show went on.
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My eyes were wet again seconds before we went out the curtain. This was it. I was either going to die looking stupid, or die knowing I did a successful job working a match with 3 veterans. Crystal made her entrance first. When it was my turn, I let out one loud scream. My music hit and waited a few seconds before walking out.

WHAT IN THE WORLD?? WHO DISTRIBUTED THESE 'JAYE SERA SECTION' SIGNS???! 

Aside from the spotlight that blinded me, I saw a quite an ocean of white papers with black, bold letters that read "JAYE SERA SECTION #ANGAS." It couldn't be possible. I knew someone did this. There had to be a culprit. Just like when Cali Nueva surprised me one day with a compilation of video messages from the other PWR wrestlers giving me the most genuine words of encouragement. As much as I wanted to hug those guys who held the signs, I shrugged it off for the moment and decided I had to keep my focus on.

The match started, and to sum it up...it was fun and fast and amazing... I didn't screw up. With assistance by the three girls in the ring, I'm convinced that I was able to do my job. I also just want to share how I thought I would be killing myself when I climbed the top rope to hit my first ever moonsault. My legs must have been shaking, but the adrenaline drowned the feeling of fear because it was super strong. I jumped off and flipped back, slamming my body against Crystal, and I thought I went deaf for a second. Not for real, but because I could barely make out the chants / screams the crowd gave.

I am extremely grateful. For this opportunity that I was given. Riho, Jibzy, Crystal. To share a ring with you three is such a huge honor. I thank you for sharing a fantastic game in the ring with me. For letting me step within your "palace" and share with me some of your glory that you've all worked hard for, for years. Thank you very much.

I'm thankful to Cali for making that video and for every single time he messaged me with encouragement. To everyone in that video compilation who gave a message. To Coach Ro who wowed me when he said he believed in me. To Mavin who warmed my heart with a parody song. To Super P for making the cutest illustrations that uplift my spirit. To Jian who told me how some things were meant to be. To Inah who believes she sees magic in me. To Trian who said, "Just fight for your dreams." To a wrestling hero that is JD who believed in my hardwork. To Jhemherlhynn who not only was very happy about me being part of that match, but to this day still stands as one of the biggest blessings in my life for this year. To Boss President Red who was one of the people who made this match possible and gave me such a big opportunity at such a great wrestling match. To Evan Carleaux who recorded his message while drunk because...Gagui! To everyone who hugged me in the locker room after the match. To Camus who showered me with the F-word multiple times while hugging me. To Shaukat who touched my heart when he said he went emotional seeing that high spot. To Z whose words felt extremely genuine saying how proud he was of me, and proud is such a strong word my friend, as we shared endless hugs back and forth and I went thanking him countless times for teaching me and pushing me. To Nicole, who not only was / has always been my source of strength and motivation, but was also responsible in glammin' up my face with her incredible make-up skills. To my siblings from another parents, Jeorge, Joyce, Eamiel, and my close friends Mayan and Patsy who showed their support by watching the show live, I couldn't express how much your attendance meant to me. I love you guys.

AHHH. I could go on and this post would be a 300-page novel.

I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS DAY. IT'S THE BEST ONE I'VE HAD SO FAR!

Dear Lord, thank You for You know what's best and for teaching us Your ways.

For the past month I died as I'd been lost into a sea of worries and fears. But PWR Live: Championship Spirit was the day I was reborn with championship spirit, by the Holy Spirit.