Queen of Emotions

I meditated on God's spirit-lifting words. Always been the best way to start my day. I thanked Him for another God-given day... and another whole God-given year for me. Despite the slight disgust about already turning 18 today, I was grateful to the Lord.

I strode into my parents' room, and my eyes roved over our guitars at a standstill against the wall. They were right behind the disc-stands that held a couple of DVD's. I gently grabbed the steel-stringed guitar, pulling it carefully enough not to knock over the tall pile of DVD's that stood beside 'em other guitars. I sat on the bed and held the guitar properly.

Almost involuntarily, my fingers positioned themselves on the fingerboard, firmly pressing against two of the rusty strings to form the E-minor chord. My other hand began to strum the strings in a slow tempo. The chord progression shifted to C, G, and then to D, repeating it all over again as I kept the rhythm of this very familiar intro. The last strum to the intro came and gave my unrefined voice the cue to finally breeze in along the beautiful guitar resonance that I was playing.

♫ Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are ♪

My naive and immature music knack sort of forgot that it shouldn't have impelled my body to sing Coldplay's The Scientist this morning. However, it was sorta inevitable.

The point is...
The intro to this blog is pointless, and completely not cohesive to my next paragraph.

I just feel so overwhelmed tonight, not a single part of my body could explain the level of delight that's been welling up inside me. Just when I thought this entire day was going to be plain, and that my 18th birthday was going to fail, God swiftly made a move that absolutely caused some personal glee to reign.

My mind had resolutely set on one system of beliefs for this day. Today, I had this mindset about how this was going to turn out just like any ordinary day. A typical day, that would just pass in a matter of hours. Sometimes it's even faster when we don't keep an eye on time too often. My own frame of mind was so firm and decisive, it affected my mood and caused it to be steady, not expectant, and chillaxed.
When I suddenly remembered the few worries I've been going through, I gave up the thought and possibility of experiencing something different today. It felt melancholic that you ain't got nothin' special for your 18th birthday, but I figured God always has better plans and that was quite alright.

No matter how much I love them, "surprises" might have not been meant for me...

But then, a mini surprise came. A surprise so little, somehow delivering a great impact on me.

I just had quite a load of burden to think of these past days. My worries were on the process of taking over my whole entire brain, when suddenly... My classmates were singing happy birthday, I whirled around to see my friend holding a box of cake. The troublesome voices in my head seemed to stop dead in their tracks when my brain transmitted the sight of the box of cake that my eyes had just absorbed. Then they caught sight of the other 'present' the folks'd got for me: Latest issue of StarStudio Magazine with the ever-gorgeous Coco Martin on the cover. Instead of fading, my thoughts of worries started resurfacing, and they were running violently uncontrollably inside my head; voices much noisier, sounds much riotous. Then my eyes finally landed on the 2 guys who apparently held up Coco Martin-Masks in front of their faces. SO FUNNY! Oh snap, as though one of the troublesome voices reacted, I heard it pronounce fear and panic, like their troop was about to die down and explode... That scene was the funniest thing I'd seen the entire day. And I wanted to laugh so hard, and I was going to laugh. Laughter was my drug. And at the sight of those boys behind Coco Martin's printed faces, I sure was in for a good laugh. The tiny spark of giggling and cackling started off in my tummy, and started its way up till I felt it right in my throat! In my throat felt like one big lump of readied laughter, all set to come out of my mouth and sound freely throughout the room.. at the same time the worries and troublesome voices seemed to reach their peak, my head couldn't contain them no more. The beautiful sight of a birthday surprise was finally annihilating the worries in my mind, until I felt them explode all at once. I knew I had laughed right then, but what came out were tears. I perfectly knew I was going to let out a laugh, and believed that I did let out a great laugh. But tears streamed down my face, as my knees weakened and I found myself a few feet shorter, head buried in hands.

As to why my supposed laughter came out in disguise of some multi-flavored tears, I had no clue. Guess that normally happens to people undergoing mixed emotions.

To conclude this quickly, today, God taught me a lesson. A very important one.

And tonight, I was able to get a whiff of a scent I'd never sniffed in so long. It smelled the same, like the last time I inhaled it. I enjoyed the feeling so bad, I almost didn't want to sniff it all up, for I knew it was temporary... for I knew it wouldn't stay for too long.

That's quite alrite dawg.