What Traumatized An Orange Heart - Chapter 5

Bedtime. This had got to be my favorite part of spending a whole day, and now a night with my 'darling'. I was sitting on Brian's bed. I just took a shower and I felt refreshed. A random movie was on TV. I couldn't concentrate on it though. Things were running in my head. I had no clue what kind of feeling that was, I knew it had already been quite normal for us to do these kinds of things together, like being in his crib and sleeping in one bed, it'd been normal since we'd done it a couple of times. It should feel normal by that time, but just by my fidgety and uneasy movements, I could tell it didn't feel normal at all, to me atleast. I thought I was quite anxious about it. I now realized that it was already awkward for me to be sharing bed with him already, since my feelings for him had gotten a bit much deeper than before. Everything I felt for Brian was turning into a mere romance, but even though it felt really awkward and that I was quite nervous, I had to say..the fact that we'd be sleeping in one bed again tonight excited me just as much.

My hair immediately dried after a few minutes of blow-drying it. I brushed it. The sappy movie was still on. As I was brushing my hair, the bathroom door flung open and Brian stepped out coolly. He only had a white towel wrapped around his waist and his hand had another towel rubbing his hair dry. Inside, I thought I just went nuts.

What is this? The way I see it now, is as if we're some newlywed celebrating their honeymoon! But dang, what the fudge am I even thinking?

"Ash?" He abruptly said, distracting my thoughts. "You okay? You look at me like I'm crazy." He laughed casually.

I felt tongue-tied. Fudge, why does everything have to feel awkward?!

"Ha-ha..no, you just scared me quite a bit." I said running my right hand to my chest, pretending that he actually scared me.

"Guess that's the effect of watching too much horror." He assumed.

"Yea-...yeah, I guess so!" I said uncertainly, smiling sheepishly.

"Right, now quit it..." he paused, "but you ain't watching somethin' scary anyway?" He declared pointing at the TV which had a pleasant scene: Vast field of green grass, blue skies, a couple chasing each other and all. It didn't look horrifying at all, it definitely wasn't a horror movie at all. Oops.

"Well, I am.."

"That's a romantic movie you're watching!" He laughed.

"No, ye--yess. I mean, I was watching a horror film earlier and it ended while you were in the shower you know, and this sappy love-story movie came in next." I LIED. I regretted the moment that I didn't pay attention to the movie a while ago! But I think I saved myself anyway.

"Oh...is that so.." He implied sarcasm in his tone.

"Yeah! And this is a boring movie, it ain't worth watching!" I looked away and quickly grabbed the remote control to change the channel.

He walked towards his dresser to dress up, his back turned on me. I pretended to watch the sports channel, then I secretly glanced at him. I forgot about the mirror in front of him and Brian caught me looking. Dang! He looked me in the mirror with that silly but lovely grin, and I looked away in embarassment.

"I think you're finding your cousin too hot tonight." He cockily said. Good thing my back was already turned on him this time, it was easier to control or hide my love-struck-reaction to his words.

"What?! KEEP DREAMING!" I tried hard to conceal the obviousness in my voice, and pretended to watch TV again.

But, if truth be told, you're just too gorgeous! I smiled in secret.

"Hahaha! Whatever, anorexic gal!" He laughed and jumped on me in the bed, ruffling my hair and tickling my most vulnerable spot.

I was asking him to stop, but I was enjoying it. Even though I knew it was nothin' more than a cousin-to-cousin or brotherly-sisterly fun to him, I just had to enjoy it. He was also enjoying it. The only difference was that my feelings were deeper...while for him, I was just always that anorexic cousin he had.

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