"Hurry up Brian!" I woke up to the voice of Brian's mom. I could hardly open my eyes, but I was sure that I did see it was like past eleven in the morning already, as what the alarm clock was tellin' me. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I saw Brian who just got up. He was very sleepy but he couldn't oversleep because of his mom. After he used the bathroom, he slowly walked and lazily opened the door and went down.
"Briaaaan!!!" We heard her once more.
"Comin'...." Brian dozily responded.
I wonder what could be happening downstairs. I wanted to get back to sleep, but I just couldn't. It's like my 'momentum to sleep' had already been broken by Brian's mom's voice...HAHA. I decided to follow them downstairs and go check out what was going on there.
That day, I was feeling... just normal at all, and somehow elated because of Brian's presence. I was happy and didn't expect anything appalling would take place. GOOD VIBES. All I knew was that it was just another awesome and sweet day to be spent with my 'darling'...
I got out of the bathroom and went towards the door. As I was approaching the staircase, it was silent at all. Then I thought I just heard like a bowl or plate or somethin' being placed on the glass table.
"That looks yummy!" I heard Brian's mom exclaim. They must be in the kitchen. I slowly walked downstairs and immediately turned left, which led the direction to their kitchen.
"I can't help but say it really looks yummy!" She exclaimed once more. I love how Brian's mom could be so easily amazed. She's super cute. Maybe she bought something again from our favorite bake shop.
"Thank you, I worked hard to perfect it!" ----I heard a strange, high-pitched voice. HUH?! Since when did Brian sound so girlish? That was strange. I got curious. I continued walking slowly till I got closer. It only had a doorframe that would lead to their kitchen, and I just cluelessly stood there...and didn't believe what I saw.
What's this? Oh Brian's mom is slicing somethin...is that a cake?
Brian's right in front of me, but his back is turned. But wait...whose arms are those wrappin' around his waist? They look so feminine, and the hands look nice. Wait.. IS THAT A GIRL HUGGING BRIAN?
Who's that? Holy cow she kissed him! Brian is just standing still? But who's the girl?!!! I can hardly see her because Brian's blocking the view. But, the figure..her figure! That's just.. familiar. She goes to help his mom with the cake. FUDGE. I think I know.
IT'S HER. She's had her hair cut too short.
I remained silent till Brian's mom recognized my presence.
"Oh hi there, Ash! C'mon and grab a bite of this delish angel food cake!" She happily greeted. I saw the other look up from her slicing, and she looked at me. Brian was... I didn't know. He just stood still. I didn't react.
"By the way, this is Amanda.. Amanda, that's Ashley, my lovely niece." She introduced the both of us to each other.
"Yeah we already know each other, right girl?" Amanda responded. OH DEAR GROUND, PLEASE EAT ME NOW.
"Ye--yeah...." I forced a smile. Brian was still motionless. What's he feeling? Everything started to make me feel awkward and uncomfortable. It was uneasy.
"Really? That's great. 'Cause every relative from our clan should really meet my son's girlfriend!" Brian's mom cheered and laughed heartily as she went back to slicing the cake.
Girlfriend. So that's it? Right. They got back together. So much crap, I would say. Why had you lied, Brian?
Brian gradually turned to face me. Did he hear me question him? Fudge. He looked extremely anxious, thought he practically paled out.
You're making things even harder. I think the pain had just started getting into me.
His face had the uneasy look on it. I could've sworn he felt shamefaced and guilty about what I knew he did. I knew Brian wanted to say something, but I ignored it. Don't explain, Brian. Just don't. I can't bear to see that look on your face, and that girl. I sure won't bear to even hear you say something about it. Stop it right there. I already heard everything. Now I know.
WITHOUT A WORD, I LEFT. Without hearing out Brian, without questioning and saying anything to him... I LEFT.
I ran fast, speeding down the streets and didn't realize that the dark and thick clouds had eaten the blue skies. I wasn't aware about the weather, and in no time, the rain had poured heavily. I didn't care though. Little by little, I felt tired from all the running and my fast pace turned slow...I was walking in the rain now. Without an umbrella, without a raincoat, without any waterproof gear...I just walked in the rain. I didn't need the gears, I needed rain to join me in my unhappiness. I stopped by a huge oak tree and sat under it, hugging my knees to my chest, still wet with the cold yet sympathizing rain. Then pain was really swallowing me at this point. I was crying so hard. My tears mixed with the rainwater.
You lied, Brian. It wasn't after all the only thing that hurt me. But the fact that he was with another girl, especially that it was Amanda, just truly doubled up the pain.
At that point, I just begged the rain to wash all the pain away. The pain felt like it was cutting me in two.
Thoughts came in..they made me writhe in pain.
Everytime I think of Brian, I realize the truth about a miracle that can never happen. I love him, but it just isn't right.
This pain is something I would carry maybe all the days of my life. It has brought me fear to open my heart up again to someone. I still look forward to the day that I'll get through it though. But for now, I'm just traumatized. I'm tremendously afraid.
There are some stories in the world better off not having a happy ending...I guess this is one of them.
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